Alive
by zedisforzebra
Summary: Five times Green ignored Red's disappearance and the one time he didn't.


The moment Green stepped out of his house, he was bombarded by a whirlwind of noise and flashing lights. Scowling, he quickly lifted his arms to shield his eyes from the bright assault. His path was blocked by a mob of reporters, all yelling at once, each voice trying to overpower the others. Green lowered his arm and sighed.

"What do you want?"

A man at the front of the crowd, wearing a badge belonging to the region's largest news station stepped up. "What do you know about Red's mysterious disappearance?"

Green immediately tensed up and narrowed his eyes. He should have seen this coming. It was only about time until they asked him, but he couldn't help himself from feeling annoyed.

"Don't know, don't care," said Green, making little effort to hide his contempt for the reporters.

Unfazed, the reporter spoke again. "Apparently after defeating you and claiming the title of Kanto's Pokemon Champion, Pokemon Trainer Red immediately relinquished the title and disappeared without a trace. As his friend and one of the last people to have seen him, is there any light you can shed on his disappearance?"

"I told you, I don't know," Green snapped. He paused. Voice dropping, he added, "And he's not my -"

"Is it true you are not involved in the search for the missing boy?" interrupted a female newscaster, her eyes boring into Green for information.

Green had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. "No, I am not part of the search, but I'm sure you already knew that so there was no point in asking."

"Green Oak," said the female newscaster insistently. "As one of his closest friends, do you not think you have an obligation to participate in the search? Are you even worried for Red's safety or are you still bitter over your defeat?"

Green's eyes flashed dangerously. It's been weeks since he lost to _him_ , but the press didn't seem to have any signs of giving this story up. After his defeat, Green travelled to the Sevii islands where he thought he could escape the chaos until it calmed down. But that was just wishful thinking. The mayhem simply stalled, waited for Green to come back and act as fuel for the media's fire. Now with his disappearance, he left Green with this entire mess to clean up on his own. Not only did Green have to settle things with the League for the both of them, he had to also face everyone's probing questions, his grandfather's perpetual disappointment and his own shattered ego - even when he wasn't here, he still made a fool of him.

"That was in the past," Green said, trying to get his point across. "It's over. Besides what do you expect me to do? Beg? Cry? Make long, tearful speeches to show to everyone that I care about this more than I actually do? I have an idea, maybe you should fine some other story to prey on. I'm already getting sick of this one."

Green turned around, stalked back into the house and slammed the door before anyone else could speak.

Green couldn't stop smiling. Everything finally worked out for him. The sky was beautiful, the crowd around him were all beaming admirably at him and in his hand were the keys to his new gym. Even the incessant photos from the press couldn't ruin his mood. He felt a firm, but warm hand on his shoulder. Green turned his head and saw his grandfather giving him a proud and genuine smile.

"Congratulations Green. I'm very proud of you."

Green gave a small smile back. "Thanks Gramps."

"I always knew you could do it."

"Right...yeah." Green forced the smile to stay on his face. He looked away from his grandfather and into the crowd, quickly changing the topic. "Wow Gramps. You brought a ton of people here. Did you invite the whole town of Pallet or something?"

"I wish I could have," said Prof. Oak, his voice suddenly sombre. The hand on his shoulder tightened and Green immediately realized his mistake.

"Joking Gramps, besides -

"Red would have been proud of you, you know that."

Green rolled his eyes and sighed. He shrugged his grandfather's hand off his shoulder. "Can we please stop talking about Red as if he's dead? He's not. He's probably somewhere far away, enjoying life and not giving a single fuck about any of us, so why should we?"

"Green," Oak said sternly.

"Don't worry. He's fine, I've known him long enough to know that. So can we please not talk about Red for once, just for today?"

Oak sighed. "Right. Today's your day Green." He paused. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Green mumbled.

"Green!" Daisy said, as she ran towards the door to envelop her little brother in a loving embrace.

Green wrapped his arms around her torso and smiled into her hair. "Hey Daisy."

Standing on her toes, Daisy reached up to stroke his hair. "How are you doing? I haven't seen you in so long."

"Sorry, I've just been so busy at the gym." Green sauntered over to one of the dining chairs and sat down, crossing his legs. "Gotta make a good first impression. I just came by to collect the rest of my things to bring to my new apartment."

Daisy nodded. "I'll make some tea for you while you go do that."

...

Green heaved the last box from his room on the second floor into the living room. He collapsed on the floor, panting, as he used his arm to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

"That's what you get for always insisting to keep everything." Daisy laughed as she knelt down beside him. "What are even in these boxes?"

"We'll see," said Green as he reached into a random box and pulled out an old, fishing rod cleanly snapped in two.

"Wow, you did quite a number on that one."

"Tsk. That was Red. He'd hooked an exceptionally aggressive Goldeen one day and when it attacked, he used the rod as a shield and obviously the rod didn't survive." Green's eyes scanned the rod one last time before throwing it aside. "I only kept it because Red promised he'd fix it. What a liar." There was no bitterness in Green's voice.

They spent many more hours looking through Green's boxes, pulling out childhood toys, maps filled with scrawls of childhood adventures, and old photographs that Daisy promised she'd find frames for. For nearly every object he pulled out of the box, he had a story to tell his sister, feeling a sense of relief and comfort whenever she laughed or her eyes widened in remembrance.

As they went through more and more boxes, Green's voice gradually dropped in volume, speaking more to himself than to his sister. Nevertheless, Daisy listened attentively, not speaking much, but nodding her head often. Green reached into one of the last boxes and pulled out a dusty and well-worn book: The Picture Dictionary of Pokemon. Green opened the book and inside the cover, written in a messy child's writing was: Happy Birthday Green! From your best friend, Red. Green stared at the page for a moment, closed the book and threw it into the discard pile.

"That was your favourite book," said Daisy, breaking the silence.

"Yeah when I was 7."

"Do you miss him?" Daisy said softly.

Green's stomach sank; he knew it was Daisy's sisterly instincts kicking in, but he wished those instincts would tell her how much he hated answering questions like those.

"Sure, I guess." Green hoped his answer was enough to satisfy his sister, but she didn't seem to hear him.

"You two were so close." She sighed, her eyes far away but still watching the book he just discarded. "Even though you were just kids, it was the kind of friendship people dreamed of having. You and Leaf as well. Inseparable".

Green shifted uncomfortably, his eyes staring intently at the ground. Daisy continued. "Green. Do you know what happened to him?"

Green didn't trust his voice, so he shook his head.

"You should try looking for him someday. I think you're the only one who can find him, Green. Nobody knows him better than you."

Green stood up and brushed the dust off his pants. "If he doesn't want to be found, he won't be. Whether I know him well or not."

Daisy exhaled. "I guess that's true. But Green." She gently grasped his upper arm. Please don't forget about your friends."

Panting hard, Green slowly raised his pokeball to arm level. "Eevee, return," he said, snapping the ball back onto his belt and giving Gold a satisfied smile. "Congrats Gold. You won."

Gold froze in surprise, as if he couldn't believe it himself. "I won," he said, tasting the words on his tongue. "I won!" Gold shouted, pumping both arms into the air. He ran towards his Typhlosion and jumped, wrapping his arms around it.

"Here," said Green. In his outstretched hand was the Viridian gym badge.

"Thanks!" Gold took the badge, inspected it for a moment in the light and carefully put it into his badge case. "Oh and I've been meaning to ask you something."

Green's eyebrow rose slightly. "Shoot."

"What do you know about Red?"

Green crossed his arms. It's been years since someone has asked him about Red. "We were rivals," he said simply.

"Yeah I got that the time you went on full rant mode about him when I met you in Cinnabar. But I don't wanna know about the time he kicked your ass, I wanna know about The Legend of Red!"

There was a pause as Green glared at Gold, strongly trying to restrain himself from being charged with assault in his own gym. Green closed his eyes and slowly counted to ten in his mind, trying to block out the sound of Gold calling his name to get his attention. Green opened his eyes and tried to speak as calmly as he could while saying the words, "I'm sorry, The Legend of Red?"

"Yeah! Ever since I started my journey, I've been hearing a lot of talk about this "Red" guy and some of the stuff they said was pretty crazy, so I thought he might have just been, like, a myth or a legend or something, but you actually know him, like in real life and stuff, so I figured who else could tell me about all the awesome things he did?"

"Red is just a normal guy," said Green, as he pinched the bridge of his nose and silently cursed Red for the umpteenth time. "Pretty sure the last thing he wanted was to be thought of as a legend."

"I want to find him." Gold's eyes fired in determination, his body seized up in anticipation.

"Why?" Green's voice came out more cruelly than he intended.

"Because it's _Red_. Even if he's not a legend, he _is_ a legend."

Green rolled his eyes. Red would have laughed at the way people talked about him these days, like some kind of idol or superhero. Green must have made his annoyance clear because Gold's grin lost some of its excitement and his enthusiasm visibly shrank. Nevertheless, his voice carried on confidently.

"I know you don't like giving out information to the presses or anything, but I just wanted to know if you could tell me where he is, and I promise I won't tell a soul."

"Wouldn't know. Haven't talked to him in ages and never tried looking for him."

"Don't you want to know where he is, what's he doing, if he's okay?"

"Not particularly."

Gold's eyes widened in surprise at Green's indifference. Beside him, his Typhlosion's fur stood up slightly, as if it was also bothered by Green's apathy. "Like I know you guys were rivals, but if Silver - he's my rival - ever disappeared, you'd bet I wouldn't stop until I found him."

"Well, we're completely different people."

Gold opened his mouth to retort, but held his words back. Instead he clenched his teeth, staring fiercely into Green's eyes and said with as much conviction as he could muster, "I don't think so." Gold shrugged his bag back on his shoulder and turned around, his Typhlosion following him dutily. "Thanks again for the badge," the gratitude drained from his voice. He walked towards the exit, but before he pushed open the doors, he said, "Good luck, Green." And he left.

"You know when you first called me to ask me for dinner, I thought someone had kidnapped you and then did a really bad job of impersonating you." Leaf smirked, poking at her fries with her fork.

"Haha very funny," said Green as he looked outside the window of the restaurant. The sun was setting on Viridian City, covering the city in a warm, orange glow.

"You know it."

Green shifted his gaze back on Leaf, realizing that he had been unconsciously trying to avoid meeting her eyes, only to see her smirking back at him. Her brown hair was longer than when he last took an actual good look at her and her face had lost a lot of its childhood roundness, but her eyes still held that same sparkle and love for adventure she had when they were kids.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Green retorted.

"Anyways, Green," Leaf said, shifting forward, her hands balancing her chin. "What spurred this little reunion here? I've asked you to hang out a ton of times before, but you always said you were busy with the gym."

Green shrugged. "I just got less busy." Leaf narrowed her eyes and threw him an unconvinced look.

Green stared back at her, ignoring the look she was giving him. "What?" he asked, feigning confusion. When Leaf continued staring at him without a word, Green added with a sigh. "And I guess I wanted to see you again."

Leaf grinned. "Now it wasn't that hard to say, was it? It only took you, like, three years admit that."

Green only huffed in reply.

"You know, you're lucky I'm not as tenacious as Red is," Leaf said, eyeing the way Green tried not to act when she brought him into the conversation. "If he saw you locking yourself up in your gym every moment of every day, he would have found a way to drag you out there by the second week."

"Yeah well Red always got his way," said Green as he watched himself absentmindedly play with the food on his plate.

"Especially with you."

Green tensed up at the strong tone Leaf had suddenly adopted. In an instant Leaf had completely dropped the light, joking mood she had previously set up, ending the small talk in an instant. Reluctantly, Green looked up to meet intense green eyes, a shade lighter than his own, and realized how much she reminded him of Gold. "Well he's not here, so no point talking about him," said Green, hoping that was the end of the conversation.

Leaf sat back and crossed her arms. "You know where he is don't you?" said Leaf, cutting straight to the point.

Green shot her an annoyed look. "Why does everyone think that?"

"You were pretty good at finding wherever he was back when you both started your journeys."

Green opened his mouth to refute, but Leaf cut him short.

"Don't lie Green."

"I don't know where he is," Green said, stressing every syllable, hoping his annoyance made it clear that he had answered this question many times before and the answer had never changed. Although Leaf didn't respond, she made no indication of backing down, so Green continued. "You know that I'm busy with the gym. I have a lot of better things to do than run around Kanto trying to find someone who isn't even a part of my life anymore. I've moved on Leaf. Life moves on."

"Green why are acting like this?"

"Acting like what?"

"Acting like Red isn't your friend," Leaf said, glaring at him, daring Green to look away.

"It's not like -

"He's your friend Green." Leaf snapped, patience dwindling. "And if you think some stupid rivalry would undo years of friendship with him, then you're really more self-centered than I thought."

Green's face hardened, his eyes dangerous and his mouth had formed into a deep scowl. But he quickly hid it behind his familiar indifference. Green leaned back and gave Leaf a bored look. "I'm over that Leaf. It's people like you who keep bringing back that stupid rivalry as if it was something big."

"Well it must have been, since you're still bitter and never stop talking about it."

Green looked like he was about to retort, but he held himself back. It was no use. If he couldn't even convince himself that he had put his past behind him, he certainly couldn't convince Leaf. There was a long silence between them, foreign and uncomfortable. Even the background noise from the other diners had diminished, most of them having already finished their meals and left.

Green broke the heavy silence. His previous anger drowned out of him, replaced instead by exhaustion. "Why don't you go find him if you're so worried?"

For the first time since the conversation started, Leaf drew her eyes away from Green and let it drift downwards and towards the side. "I tried. But I checked all of the cities and towns, the forests and even Mt. Moon, but I still couldn't find him."

Green scoffed and poorly tried to hide it as a cough. Leaf raised an eyebrow, wordlessly demanding an explanation.

"Now I see why you needed me." Green didn't attempt to keep the smugness out of his voice. "You'd never find Red there, I wouldn't even have bothered."

On a different day, Leaf would have rolled her eyes at Green's smug comment, but instead she was grateful for the familiarity of it all, the tension from moments before almost all but evaporated. "And where would you find him?" Leaf leaned forward, lips quirked in a small smile. She was presenting him an open opportunity to show off what he knew.

But not today. It's true that Red had been a staple for a large part of his life, and while Green would never admit it, Leaf was right, reading Red was like second nature to him. Except he wouldn't take the bait, not this time.

"I could spend a whole day telling you where he isn't, but where he actually is, well that's beyond anything I know."

Which is only a half lie. He didn't know where Red was. But he knew where he could be, where he probably was, where he would be. In his mind's eye, Green saw an image of Red, hidden far away, but still close to home at the same time. He knew Red hadn't gone very far because Red loved Kanto, and also due to his stubbornness, he wouldn't visit a new region until he thoroughly explored this one. But most of all, even without those reasons, Green just _knew_ Red was still in the area. He could simply feel his presence, and as unbelievable as it seemed, it's not surprising that after spending nearly his entire life with such a strong presence beside him, he'd recognize immediately if it disappeared. But it didn't. Red's presence was still there, like a strong pulsating beat in the background. But Green would never say this, not to anyone, not even Leaf.

"But don't worry, Leaf, he's not in any danger, it's Red we're talking about," said Green, trying to placate the exasperation emanating off of Leaf.

He didn't want people to find Red. Not only for the reason people thought, but also because he knew if he said anything, they'd find him, and it'd be out of pure luck, not because they actually knew where to look. Green knew if he tried, he could find him, and there was a kind of smugness knowing that without Green, he'd never be found. There was a strange sort of satisfaction knowing that even after years of not speaking to each other, he still knew him best.

Leaf shot him an annoyed look, but didn't press on, knowing Green would never yield. "I know you think he's fine, but that doesn't stop a lot of people here from worrying, especially -

"I know," Green cut her off and his eyes lowered.

Leaf's face softened and her voice lost some of its edge. "Green. I know Red's capable, but I still worry about him. He might need us right now. You know Red has no understanding of his own limits. If the outside world doesn't kill him, he'll end up killing himself."

Green didn't respond. He didn't want to refute what Leaf had said, that Red didn't need them, never really needed them, but he especially didn't want to let Leaf know that she might even be right. Even though his entire body was screaming for Green to concede and nod his head in agreement, a part of him held him back. His pride, his hurt, but most of all, his fear. He finally had control over his life, he had his gym, his comfortable life and Red, Red was the opposite of stability. Green could imagine a million different things that could go wrong if they were to ever meet. And if Green knew himself, he knew he couldn't just see Red after all these years and continue with his life as if it never happened. He knew if he were to ever see Red again, he could never go back to the life he had before, and he wasn't ready to lose everything he had worked so hard for. And while a part of him burned guiltily at his own selfishness, it did no damage to his suffocating fear of failure, and what was possibly even greater, his fear of Red.

"Green you need to find him. You need to settle whatever happened between you two. I know you say you've gotten over it, but I can tell you haven't moved on. Not really. Green. Please." She was pleading now, and Green felt a numb pang of guilt at her concern. "Please find him," she repeated.

"Leaf," Green croaked, his eyes weary and exhausted. He placed a few bills on the table and got up slowly, his head still bowed down slightly when he stood up. He didn't look at her as he started to leave. "I'm sorry, I can't.

Green knocked tentatively on the faded white door, his entire body high strung on nerves and his mind racing a million miles an hour. In his arm was a package that his grandfather had asked him to deliver just as he was about to return to Viridian.

There was no response, so Green knocked again, harder this time. Nothing. He thought about leaving the package outside the door, but decided against it. He turned the knob slowly and was surprised when he heard a soft click and the door started budging.

As the door opened, it emitted a low creaking sound that made Green wince. He opened the door just enough to slide himself into the house, his back brushing the edge of the door frame. The first thing Green noticed was the strong smell of cleaning detergent, the chemically induced lemon scent a strong contrast to the clean, fresh Pallet air. Appearance-wise, the house looked almost like he remembered it, the same photographs hanging on the walls, the same dark brown wooden floors, and the same old welcome mat with the words "home sweet home" etched on. But the house felt completely different. There wasn't a speck of dust on the frames, the floors felt too smooth and the old welcome mat looked as if it had just been bought. Green couldn't remember a time when this house looked so clean. In the past, the house was never dirty, but there would be the occasional half hazard pile of miscellaneous objects sitting on a table, a few stains on the wall or ground - it was a home well lived in. But now the house looked more like a showroom than a house, and Green would have thought that nobody even lived here if it weren't for the soft noise of the TV in the room next door.

"Hi, I have a package for you here," Green called out, the sound of his own voice sounding foreign in the strange air. He heard nothing back.

Despite a voice telling him not to intrude, he took off his shoes and took a few more steps in the house, leaving the door open to welcome in a small, relieving breeze. While the house looked roomier, with less toys and books and papers lying around, Green almost felt suffocated.

Walking into the dining room, he placed the package onto the dining table and was about to open his mouth to call out again when he heard a tired voice from the next room, speaking mechanically, as if she had repeated the same words many times before.

"Hi. Red's been away."

Green jumped slightly, and then silently cursed himself for being so jittery in the house he used to call his second home. But hearing that voice, which had always been warm and comforting, sound like a worn out answering machine close to breaking, Green had to accept that things weren't the same when he had last visited. He had to stop pretending. He walked into the living room, package in hand where he could hear the voice more clearly. "He hasn't called either, so I have no idea where he is or what he's been doing."

"I have a package for you. From my grandfather," Green said, the only words he could force from his throat, as he walked around the couch to hand it to her.

Green inhaled sharply. The woman sitting on the couch was deathly pale, almost sickly. She was much too skinny, with hollow cheeks and skin that stretched tightly against the sharp edges of her bones. Her hair was more grey than brown, and while she had deep wrinkles around her eyes and her frowning mouth, it was her eyes, half-lidded and lifeless, that made her face look like she had aged over a decade since he last saw her. Despite all that, she sat straight and stiff - her body giving off the impression of attentiveness, but her face betraying an absence of reality. She didn't seem to notice Green's presence, her eyes locked onto the screen, almost unblinking.

Green tore his eyes off of her and looked around the living room, noticing that the TV was on the news channel, and spotting dusty photographs of a younger Red and his mom, both smiling widely at the camera. There were even a photo of him and Red, arms around each other, the worries of their future nonexistent.

"I worry about Red getting hurt or sick, but he's a boy. I'm proud that he's doing what he wants to do," murmured Red's mom.

Green tore his eyes from the photographs, put down the package on the table beside him and sat down carefully on the couch, leaving a generous amount of space between them.

"Yeah," said Green weakly, nodding slightly as the ability to talk completely abandoned him. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath and spoke up. "You should be," Green said more confidently, his eyes watching her. She didn't look back. "He's done a lot of great things -"

"No news is good news."

Green blinked

"Not necessarily," Green said. When she didn't respond, Green coughed slightly, partly to rid his nose from the chemicals in the air and partly to fill the room with something other than silence as he tried to make sense of the whirlwind of thoughts rattling inside his head. "I don't have any news to tell you, but I know he's always been grateful to you for supporting him. And he's happy that he gets to live his dream, you don't have to worry about that."

Green paused for a second, but continued talking when the muffled sound of the TV started to gain foreground.

"I know Red is absolutely terrible with keeping in contact, believe me Leaf and I don't get any special treatment, but I also know that no matter how dangerous or unbelievable the situation, Red always finds a way to be okay."

Green's hands fidgeted in his lap when she didn't respond, so he used the void to fill the dead air with stories -reassurances - of Red's uncanny ability to put himself in danger, but always managing to leave unscathed. He knew he was talking about the very things Red's mother was trying to avoid seeing on the news, but he hated the feeling the house was giving him - the same feeling he got from talking to the press, his grandfather and even to Leaf - the feeling that they were already mourning Red's death. And that wasn't a possibility that Green could accept. Red was alive, Green was sure of that, and he had to keep him alive the only way he could, and it was by complaining, talking, reliving everything about Red that proved that he was still there. He wasn't a distant memory whose existence could only be proved by the photographs surrounding him. The Red Green knew lived.

And maybe Green was starting to talk to fast to make any sense, but he couldn't stop, he had too much to say, too much to prove, as he rattled off stories of Team Rocket and even the Championship Battle, but he couldn't let Red's presence wither in this household.

"No news is good news," she repeated softly, interrupting Green in the middle of a detailed story.

Green stopped talking and took a breath, finally noticing how riled up he had become. He tried to give her a reassuring smile. "Red's going to return home one day, and that'll definitely be some good news."

"All boys leave home someday. It said so on TV."

Green simply nodded. A silence fell over them.

"They say no news is good news, but I do worry about him," Red's mom whispered.

"Yeah. Me too," Green said, his eyes aimlessly staring at his lap.

"Green." She said, and Green jolted in his seat. He quickly turned to face her, and was startled to see that she had finally taken her eyes off of the screen to look at him. "Please take care of him."

Her eyes were sad, and her lips seemed to be fixed in a permanent frown, and Green felt a heavy pang of guilt and sadness.

"I will."

Green got up the moment she turned back towards the TV, told her he would visit soon, and quickly walked out of the house to call his Pidgeot to fly him back to Viridian. As Pokemon and trainer soared in the air, Green wondered if he still had his map of Kanto, as well as his travelling gear back in his apartment. A sense of annoyance filled his chest when he spotted Mt. Silver in the far distance, the top of its point protruding through the clouds. It wasn't such a strange possibility - in fact living on Mt. Silver was such a ridiculous act, that Green would be surprised if he didn't find Red there, happily making everyone worry, and making Green go to such great lengths just to see him.

"And people think I'm selfish," Green murmured, not keeping his eyes of the mountain while his thoughts flashed back not only to Red's mom's, but also his grandfather's and Leaf's. He thought about the first memory he had of Red - toddlers joyfully playing with the Pidgey in the fields - and the last memory of him, standing in front of Green, recalling his pokemon and giving him an almost apologetic look before his grandfather ushered him into the Champion's room. Green pushed the bitter memory away and thought about how he was going to put an end to all of this - all of these misconceptions, all of the worrying, and bitterness. He was going to settle this finally, and Red, Green thought, excitement tingling through his nerves, he better be ready.


End file.
